Death Is Nothing At All.

Death is nothing at all

I have only slipped away into the next room

I am I and you are you

Whatever we were to each other

That we are still

Call me by my old familiar name

Speak to me in the easy way you always used

Put no difference into your tone

Wear no forced air of solemnity or sorrow

Laugh as we always laughed

At the little jokes we always enjoyed together

Play, smile, think of me, pray for me

Let my name be ever the household word that it always was

Let it be spoken without effort

Without the ghost of a shadow in it

Life means all that it ever meant

It is the same as it ever was

There is absolute unbroken continuity

What is death but a negligible accident?

Why should I be out of mind

Because I am out of sight?

I am waiting for you for an interval

Somewhere very near

Just around the corner

All is well.

Nothing is past; nothing is lost

One brief moment and all will be as it was before

How we shall laugh at the trouble of parting when we meet again!



This is the poem I spoke of whilst Jeydon was on hospice care, sleeping away in our living room on the couch he died on. I couldn't find the poem anywhere, and just found it in the information section of someone's YouTube video. I had that poem in an email from a friend who sent me it originally, but it got deleted somehow, someway.

Fly away my sweet, sweet brother.
I love you.

K xx.

Merry Christmas, My Love...

Merry Christmas, Jeydon..

This Christmas is going to be so different without you here physically. We know we always have the precious memories to hold onto but I'd rather hold you.

I hope you have a great Christmas with Jesus this year, Jeydon.

We haven't forgotten you..we miss you so much.

With Love,

Kyler.

Quick Prayer Request.

Our friend's daughter has a brain tumor and is currently in the hospital.

I would appreciate it if you could say a prayer tonight in her name. She is called "Alexis."

Thankyou.

k xx

Permanent.

As of 6.22 AM this moring Jeydon has been in Heaven for six long months. Saying that Jeydon has been dead for six months as opposed to six days, or three months, feels SO much more permanent. Through all these wave of emotions, we must remember that one day farther away from Jeydon is infact one day closer to him...

Six months ago today...Jeydon took his last breath on Earth.

Six months ago today...in that same last breath, Jeydon took his first breath in Heaven.

Six months ago today...Jeydon gave up his heartbeat in exchange for the heartbeat of God.

Six months ago today...we mourned over an amazing boy's loss.

Six months ago today...we rejoiced over an amazing boy's gains.

Six months ago today...Jeydon suffered.

Six months ago today...Jeydon was cleansed.

Six months ago today...we learned the true meaning of strength and beauty.

Six months ago today...Jeydon met God, someone he FULLY relied on, for the first time ever.

Six months ago today...we witnessed the worst day of our lives, and the best day of Jeydon's.

Six months ago today...Jeydon laid all his plans, hopes, dreams, and future at God's feet.

Six months ago today...we knew Jeydon was finally safe and healthy and full and renewed.

Six months ago today...and we still remember. and cry. and pray. and try. and miss. and love.

Yes, six months is a long time. A big "milestone" if you will, in the world of grief. Most people who haven't travelled along this dreaded road assume that six months is the end of grief and the "letting go" process. I stand before you to tell you it is not. Just as love, grief never ends also. I imagine myself in fourty years still thinking of Jeydon and although it won't be nearly as debilitating, I think I will still have to wipe my eyes.

It's been six months since Jeydon died but it has also been six months since he was healed and brought to new life and endless happiness. I've said eariler that we never exactly bluntly told Jeydon that he was going to die, and since he was in a sedated state most of the time, he didn't know he was home, or why he was for that matter. But he was such a wise man, and such an old, old soul. I hate to think he knew he was dying but I think he did. Now I say "man" lightly because in reality Jeydon was only a baby when he died. He was 14. Fourteen. In my mind, fourteen year olds still aren't supposed to die. Him dying didn't change my perspective on children dying. Altered it? Yes. Changed it? No.

We will all always miss Jeydon, but life sadly goes on. I guess this was supposed to happen and its not just an unfair glitch in life. I know God planned Jeydon's life long before time and nothing could have changed what happened to Jeydon last June. Regardless, we still miss him and selfishly want him back. Jeydon fought like hell, as do all these other precious kids, and he went to Heaven anyway..I wonder if he ever thinks it was all a waste like I do sometimes. But I can say that no matter what, Jeydon always smiled and if it weren't for that bald head of his nobody would have known he had cancer. Neuroblastoma what made Jeydon, Jeydon and he never let it conquer his life, spirit, and mind.

Christmastime is coming and the holidays have proven themself to be hard and upsetting in the worst ways. We put up our Christmas tree and decorated in all fancy for Jeydon because he simply loved the holidays. I imagine us always doing the same traditions we usually do, just minus one person, one very very important person.

To Jeydon,

Soooo Jeydon, happy six months! I love you so much! I am so sorry I want you to come back and for things to be like they always were, you know how I so hate change. I'm trying though, I really am, and I will forever miss you. Nothing can ever take away my love for you and you will ALWAYS be my twin brother. Thankyousomuch for all your wonderful gifts to all of us, they are something I will forever cherish. I found a small box that had To Kyler: Luve Jeydon written on it exactly like that! It was the christmas gift you gave me when we were six, the little duck, remember? I hope you hear my prayers every night, I pray they get to you. I love you, Jeydon and I miss you very, very much...

Luve ;) Kyler.