We're leaving tomorrow for Austrailia and then we're off to Bahamas with extended family and I am very happy for that. Yesterday I caught a few good shots of Alexis swinging and playing around Jeydon's tree so here's one since I caught just too many to share in one post {I'll save more for later :)} She reminds all of us of Jeydon more and more everyday as do all of my sibblings, but her espeically. She's just like Jeydon in looks, the words she choses and the way she portrays herself. Our mother always used to say that her and Jeydon we're really twins, just years apart since Jeydon and I are polar opposites. I started this post a day ago, but never go to finish or publish! So yes, we're in the states officially now, (we changed plans for several different reasons that aren't something I'd prefer to discuss.) Before we left I was searching our room for something I needed to take along with us on holiday and found remnants of a half eaten cookie. Jeydon's christmas cookie.
Most might find this disgusting, but when someone you really love is gone, it's not garbage it's memorabilia. Everything has a little bit of Jeydon left which is both good and bad.Yesterday before we took off, all of our family met at our house since we were all going together in different cars, but with eachother. I was getting ready in our room and our two year old cousin, Piper, walked into our room looking around like she was curiously looking for something. She stood around for several minutes before speaking, and I just watched her. She went over to Jeydon's bed, peeked under it and then over to our closet door and shrugged asking me "where bubba was?" I said he isn't here because he lives in Heaven now and she said "oh" like she knew what I was talking about exactly after I explained it. Then out of the blue she began to ask a bunch of questions like why Jeydon was there and not here, and why she wasn't in Heaven too, or why he was sick? Just why??? Questions we too have, but she's a child so she asks. I guess we're all just afraid. Afraid to ask, and afraid to hear the answer.
Tomorrow, will be Jeydon's and my birthday, Jeydon's first in Heaven and I will have more pictures to share then. Please pray for our family and for Jeydon as well. Nobody wants Jeydon to be in Heaven, but if he has to be we'd want him there. If that is even such a thing to want.
May the angels protect you for all your years to come Jeydon. Every year with you was another year forever remembered and forever cherished. You ARE such a great kid who will never cease to amaze any single one of us, even after your departure. Tomorrow we will celebrate like we always did and will continue to do, Jeydon. Don't feel bad that we cry because you are not here. We just miss and love you and it's the only way to show that right now. I hope you have SO much fun tomorrow and realize that you deserve it more than any of us ever will. You were so brave through and through, nothing ever stopped you. Send us plenty of signs tomorrow, Jeydon. Happy 15th Birthday. We love you!
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