An Obituary for a Valiant Warrior {Waiting}

Here is Jeydon's obituary that I promised...

On June 16th, 2009 Heaven's Gates opened up for Jeydon Cassidy Matthews, 14. Jeydon died at home surrounded by loved one's he held closest at 6:22 AM after a ten year battle against Neuroblastoma (a rare form of pediatric cancer.) Although to many Jeydon's life seemed short; he lead an extremely rich and fulfilling life in the years he graced this Earth. His strong determination, contagous laughter and unforgettable personality will be remembered by people he knew throughout his life. Jeydon's enjoyed activities such as skateboarding, swimming, video games, and without a doubt being with his friends and family whom he loved dearly. While his illness put a horrific burden on his body, he never let it falter his faith in the Lord and he always knew how much he was and still is loved. Jeydon is survived by his mother, Grace Matthews; his father, Derrick Matthews and his 4 sibblings as follows: his eldest brother Levi Matthews; his twin sister Kyler Matthews; and youngest sibblings: Alexis Matthews + Ava Matthews. His life is held dearly by many caretakers, doctors, nurses and blood doners who helped save his life numerous times. There is a special place in our hearts for Jeydon's beloved doctor whom he called "Sweet Caroline" who has been with us since diagnosis, serving Jeydon with an abundant amount of courage and dignity in his life and also in his death. Jeydon is predeceased by his Grandad Joe, Uncle Kurt and his best friend Danyelle. Our hope is that even though Jeydon's life was short, people will be able to notice that it was not in vain and that his determination was spread far and wide enough to shine in our hearts forever.

Until we meet again "Bubba." You are our so very loved and cherished.

"Some people only dream of angels, I held one in my arms."
Rest easy now, Jeydon.

Tomorrow will be one week without Jeydon and one week sounds and feels just like forever! I still sit in our (or is it my, now?) bedroom and wait for him to come running up the stairs and burst through the door to say that people are "waiting for us and not to take a hour, lets just go" In harsh reality I know he won't ever again, but it helps to sit and wait. I find myself racking my brain over and over for simple memories of Jeydon, anything give me anything God, to please never forget him. It's scary when I have to sit back and say things like "Wait, what was the last thing he said to me? When was the last time he called me? Is the voicemail from him still in my inbox? Or did I delete it? Good, it's there. SHIT. I can't remember what his voice sounds like!!! Wait, the message, I still have the message.." It sounds crazy, and I feel like a maniac but that's normalcy around here now.

I finally put all of Jeydon's clothes away. I had put this off, and my mom asked me kindly to please do it before vacation because she doesn't want to come home to a house full of reminders that Jeydon is really gone and she's not strong enough to do it herself, she said. We hope that this vacation will allow us to heal for a least a little while. I am glad that we have this vacation and that we can go to Jeydon's favourite place ever-the beach. But a worry also lingers as I don't want to come home to a heavy sadness of Jeydon's absence. It's so hard to have someone missing from your presence, especially if you have known them for your life in its entirety. One week ago tomorrow was the first time in my life that I lived without Jeydon there in it...how could that be? How are you really gone forever, Jeydon?

kyler xx